Back to school is a joyous time for some families but can be incredibly triggering for those navigating infertility. For those struggling with infertility, it can be a reminder of what “could have been”, comparisons, and just downright tough.

Depending on where you live in the country, you may have already seen the back-to-school pictures several weeks ago or they are just beginning to pop up on social media. For me, this time of year brings mixed emotions. I am thrilled for my daughter to have another year of learning and growing, but it is a reminder that our son Luke, would have entered first grade.

As someone who has experienced loss and infertility, I am sharing the tips and strategies that I use to get through triggering times of the year.

Tip 1: Take Time Off Social Media 

This is much easier said than done. However, if you know school starts on a particular week in your area, it can be helpful to take a few days off social media. This is something that I’ve done in the past during painful milestones and it has helped me tremendously.

Tip 2: Talk With Your Partner

We often internalize our feelings when upset. Even saying something as simple as “this time of the year is tough for me” out loud and sarong with your partner can be so helpful. Being open about how you are feeling with your partner can be really helpful in processing your grief and is very important for your relationship. Who better to talk to about your grief and the “what ifs” than your partner who is likely feeling similar, but also might be struggling to put it into words?

Tip 3: Find Your Zen 

Whether meditating, exercising, or simply taking a walk, taking time for yourself is incredibly beneficial. In the darkest times of my grief, I would often go on YouTube and search for “guided meditations for grief” to help relax my mind. I also found Pilates (my form of exercise at the time) to be helpful in releasing endorphins to help me feel better.

Tip 4: Be Patient With Yourself

Personally, I thrive when I feel as though I am being productive. When you are genuinely upset, it is tough to be on your “A-game” and get everything done on the “to-do” list. Try accepting where you are in your grief and/or road to parenthood and welcome some days where you need to relax and not check anything off the list. By taking that time for yourself, you are doing so much for your body (which is actually incredibly productive).

If this time of year feels heavy, I am holding space for you in my heart and hoping the above tips and strategies will help decrease some of the heaviness that comes with this time of the year.