Surrogacy is full of misconceptions. When everyone has heard their own story through the grapevine, how do you know what to believe? Well good news, you’re in the right place because we are about to debunk some of these false and sometimes damaging questions about surrogacy. Take a look at the list below of the most common surrogacy myths we hear regularly.

8 Common Surrogacy Myths

Myth 1: Any woman can become a surrogate

The Facts: This is false. Surrogates are required to go through an extensive screening process including medical appointments, mental health evaluations, background checks, and more. In addition to this, they also have to land between a certain age range, hit certain health markers, and have previously given birth.

Myth 2: Surrogates are only in it for the money

The Facts: As we just pointed out, due to the rigorous screening process and clinical tests a surrogate needs to endure before being connected with a set of Intended Parents, it is not easy at all to become a surrogate. Therefore, it hardly makes sense that a woman would go through all that testing just for a paycheck. 

While the more common route of compensated surrogacy (versus altruistic surrogacy) does offer the surrogate a base compensation of a healthy amount, there are actually a large number of reasons why a woman would want to go through the pregnancy process for another hopeful family. 

Some of these reasons include wanting to make a difference in the lives of Intended Parents that could not otherwise conceive, it brings them an immense amount of personal satisfaction, or that they simply enjoy being pregnant.

Myth 3: The DNA of the surrogate will pass onto the baby

The Facts: This is another surrogacy myth that biologically speaking, this is just not possible. Since the egg being used for the pregnancy is not her own, she is simply the carrier of the baby and nothing more. 

To become pregnant, the surrogate is implanted with either the Intended Mother’s egg or donor egg and the Intended Father’s sperm (or donor sperm) through the IVF (in-vitro fertilization) process. The DNA of the surrogate is never shared with the baby at any point, so there is no need to worry that any part of the surrogate will be transferred to the child.

Myth 4: Intended Mothers can't breastfeed a baby that is born by a surrogate

The Facts: Breastfeeding is a very personal decision for every mother, Intended Parent or not. The answer here is that yes, even when a baby is born via surrogate, they can still be breastfed by the Intended Mother. 

If the Intended Mother is planning on breastfeeding the baby, she will need to induce lactation by taking hormones which will essentially trick her body into thinking that it is pregnant. Additional supplements and medications will also be administered once the due date gets closer, and soon the Intended Mother will be able to breastfeed and pump as needed. It is a difficult process, but a definite possibility for those interested in trying. Some will opt to use a SNS (supplemental nursing system) to have the baby at the breast but not be using their own breastmilk.

Myth 5: The surrogate has the option to change her mind and keep the baby

The Facts: Likely the most fear-inducing surrogacy myth, you’ll be happy to know that this is also false. In addition to going through many legal documents and a psychological evaluation, your surrogate is fully aware (and tied legally) to birthing and then handing over the child to the Intended Parents. The surrogate is also emotionally evaluated beforehand to make sure they are stable and understand the process.There is absolutely no wiggle room or any other possible other case, so if this is something you are worried about, you can definitely relax!

Myth 6: Surrogacy is only for the rich and celebrities

The Facts: While the cost of surrogacy is not an affordable option by many people’s standards, with determination and the right financial planning, many Intended Parents can find the means to go through the surrogacy process.

There are opportunities such as loans, grants, and payment plans that can make this dream much more accessible. There are even some insurance plans that can help to reduce costs as well. Some couples save for years towards their goal of building a family, so it’s entirely possible for you as well!

Myth 7: Intended Parents won't be able to bond with the baby

The Facts: This is another big surrogacy question we hear often. The Intended Parents create a strong natural bond after the pregnancy.

Intended Parents that are present at the time of the birth will be able to immediately connect with the newborn with skin to skin contact. Connecting physically with the baby this way will begin the parent-child bond.

Additionally, the Intended Parents will be the ones to regularly feed and care for the baby. He or she will soon recognize that and the bond between the parents and baby will continue to strengthen.

Myth 8: Surrogacy is selfish

The Facts: There are so many children waiting to be adopted, without a family, or currently fostered, how could anyone possibly think about bringing another child into the world? 

The reality is, Intended Parents are the farthest thing from selfish. It’s only natural that a couple would want to have a child that is biologically theirs. Adoption might not be a comfortable option for them, or it’s possible that they’ve previously tried other methods of getting pregnant, like IVF and failed. 

In this case, surrogacy might be their last remaining option of having a child that is genetically connected to them. Whatever the case may be, every couple has the right to choose how they want to grow their family in the way they want.

Questions about surrogacy?

Now that we’ve cleared up some of the common surrogacy myths, you should have a much better idea of your opinion on it. However, if you still have questions about surrogacy, then it’s time to connect with the experts. Our founder is a former Intended Mother who now has two daughters through surrogacy.

If you’re considering using a surrogate to grow your family, we can help guide you through the complete surrogacy process, no matter which route you decide to take. Connect with us today by reserving a free 30 minute discovery call to talk about your unique needs.